How do I get Over My Husband?

So my husband doesnt love me anymore. He has been both Verbally and Physically abusive towards me. More on the Verbal abuse then Physical. We have been together 3 years and are I am 23 and he is 21. We have a 4 year old and a 2 year old. He isnt a very good person he is on probation in LA county and never checked in with his probation officer and it was a burglary case, he smoke weed all the time, puts are kids life in danger by brining dumb druggie friends around, he seems to care more about himself then us, and steals from people to this day with no shame. He is a very sweet person when he wants to be but when he is mad he is very angry. He doesnt say he wants a divorce he has said it before but always took it back. We fight all the time and he tells me he doesnt care about anything including me and our marriage. He shows in many ways he does not love me but wont tell me and wont tell me we are done and if he does he changes his mind the next day. So I have reallized I need to leave him....I am very attached to him and I need help and cant afford a counselor. I love him deeply and always stay with him becuase I hope things will change. What should I do? I have tried so many things to get over him...a journal, fake letters, a list of all the things he has done and said to me that was hurtful, a list of what is to come if we stay together and so on.....I mean to be honest my biggest fear is that he will find somebody else and be in love with them and I will be alone. I think that is my biggest problem I DONT WANT HIM TO be with anybody else but at the same time I know that he doesnt love ME so I have to leave him. help me please...any websites....methods??